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ignored Addie. She was nearly unconscious from hypothermia. She needed to be cared for. It was her who needed to go to hospital, not Vee. You looked as though you didn t even care. I thought Vee was pregnant. I thought she was losing the baby. But you were supposed to love Addie. I don t understand you, Will. What were you thinking? I encouraged you to go after Addie because at the start I wanted the pair of you to be together. I thought Vee would fuck off for good. I wasn t even thinking of Addie, just of helping you. But I saw how she looked at you and the way you looked at her and I thought maybe this is it for Will, maybe this is the real thing. God, Will, all you had to do was love Addie and you couldn t even get that right. Was she the only one in the office you hadn t fucked? Got a full score sheet now? Every muscle in Ed s body tensed. I like Addie. I didn t drag her into bed. I got to know her. I made friends with her. Just because you didn t do the right thing, don t make me feel guilty for helping her. You fucked her. Who exactly were you helping by fucking her? Ed took a deep breath. I love her. Will stared at him. I loved her first. She isn t a toy we re fighting over, Ed said in a quiet voice. But we are fighting. I m not going to let you take her, Ed. You ve flitted from woman to woman all your life. When you throw Addie away, you ll break her. Ed s jaw tightened. Do you know me at all? I know you too well. * * * * * Ed didn t stay the night in Alwoodley. He couldn t stand to be near Will. Instead he drove back to the hospital and sweet-talked one of the night nurses into letting him see Addie. Her eyes were closed and Ed thought she was asleep, but as he sat on the chair at her bedside, she spoke. Hi, Ed. His pulse rocketed. How did you know it was me? Your smell. Oh God, I knew I should ve had a shower, he whispered. Addie laughed and then groaned. Ouch. How are you feeling? Like someone s been kicking me. And of course it s my fault. How do you figure that? Because I should have handed over the pathetic sum in my purse, as my mother will no doubt repeatedly tell me. Ed s hand crept onto the bed and touched the tips of Addie s fingers with the tips of his own. Are your hands badly cut? Apparently I look like I ve gone a couple of rounds with Edward Scissorhands. Don t say that. For one very long minute I thought you were dead. If he d killed you, I think I might have killed him. Ed meant it. God, Ed, you shouldn t tangle with Spiderman. I thumped him. My fingers still hurt. Addie gave them a little squeeze. My hero, she whispered. He wished he was. Finn arrested Vee for wrecking your room, Ed said. Oh shit. I want to forget she exists, not have this drag out for months. She s not pregnant. She never was. Ed s hand itched to reach out and brush the hair from Addie s poor scratched face. I was beginning to wonder. So how s Will? Pissed off. Ed wanted to leave it there, but he couldn t. Not about the baby. He never wanted that. Not with her. He s pissed off because all of this could have been avoided. It s my fault. I fucked things up. If I d let Vee burst in on you two the evening you came back from Robin Hood s Bay, none of this would have happened. And and he thinks we I That we didn t just sleep together? Ed nodded. Well, we didn t just sleep together. Addie opened her eyes wider. I don t remember& No, I didn t mean that. His heart hurt. The thing actually hurt. How could that be? The words moved to his mouth from his head, but got stuck. Why didn t you tell him? she asked. I don t know, Ed lied. You look shattered, Addie said. I m exhausted. Fighting Spiderman wore me out. Is there room in that bed for me? he asked. I can t hurt him, Ed. He tried to pull his hand away, but Addie clung on to one finger with the tips of hers. So you ll hurt yourself instead? And me, he wanted to add. He s your brother. You re friends. You run a business together. I won t come between you. I m not that important. Christ, Addie. Listen to yourself. If you want him, go for it. He wanted the words back. That hadn t been what he d been trying to say. She moved her hand. I m tired. Ed got to his feet. I ll come and see you. Don t, Addie muttered. I can t do this, Ed. I can t come between you and Will. We all have to let this go. Chapter Thirty-Eight Addie? Oh, your poor face. Christ! Addie, sweetheart? The voice pulled her back from a world where she was safe. Suddenly her hands hurt, her ribs ached and she remembered. I m so sorry, angel. I d give anything for this not to have happened to you. The nurse has only let me in for a minute. I just wanted to tell you that I m sorry. I know I keep saying that, but I need you to understand how much you mean to me. I wish I could turn back the clock and meet you all over again, because I d never let you out of my arms. Once upon a time, that was what she d wished too. I want to spend the rest of my life looking after you. When you get out of here, I want to take you on holiday. Anywhere you like. She opened her eyes and looked straight at him. Will smiled. Vee s gone, he whispered. Really gone. I want you to come to London and move in with me. If you don t want to work for me, I ll help you find a job. I know you and Ed Well, it s okay, Addie. I let you down. You ve never done anything wrong. Never. I want to make everything right. Please give me another chance. Beneath the sheet, Addie clutched the little gray bear Ed had given her, squeezing it in her fingers. Go away, she muttered. As her eyes closed again, she heard him give a shaky sigh. I love you, he whispered. I ll always love you. Addie waited until he d gone before she pulled the bear out and pressed it to her [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |
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