|
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
"He looked like a beggar with all the layers of clothing he wore. As if he had no safe place to leave any of it and must wear it all the time." "Another possibility was that the articles of clothing were his trophies from the hunt. You know our kind is not affected by the cold. There was no functional reason for him to keep all those layers of clothing." "Do vampires go mad, Ryan? Do they become crazy as they fall more and more into being monsters?" "No. If a vampire is insane, then it's because he or she had that tendency before being made. Even after being buried alive all those years, my rage, my madness, passed. I don't know that I was even truly insane. I knew what I was doing was wrong and reveled in the very wrongness of it." Ryan watched Carissa's face tense. "What, my love?" Ryan asked gently. "I& That would be my definition of evil, Ryan." "Yes, it would be mine as well." Ryan took Carissa's hand and kissed it. "Believe me, love, you don't judge me any harder than I have judged myself. I've teased you for thinking I have a code of ethics, but in truth I do. I wasn't a very good person before I was made, maybe because I was always a pawn in some conflict. It was living with Brynn all those years that taught me how people ought to be treated. I tried to become what she saw me as: something of a hero. Silly nonsense. I'm not a hero; it is not in my nature. Brynn was truly good, and I am not. But I do hold to a code. I protect my own. I do not kill or cause pain for sport. And I do not use people unless I give them something of equal value in return." Carissa covered Ryan's hands with her own. "That is as good a code as most people live by, Ryan. I'm not sure what I live by. I& " "You are like Brynn in many ways. You truly care about people and work to help them." "Alyssa seemed to be amused by the idea. She seemed to think it very naive of me to care so for the prey." "I was so afraid I would lose you. When you woke, all I could think of was how foolish it was of you to put yourself at risk for a bunch of children who would probably dead in a few weeks or months anyway. But Brynn would have done the same thing. Perhaps I would have too, for the sport of it. Vampires usually don't spend much time thinking about ethics." "Do you think I'm foolish for caring, Ryan?" "I don't know. I do know that caring destroyed Brynn in the end. She cared so much, the weight of her guilt killed her." "Have you ever forgiven her?" Ryan reared back as if she had been slapped. She sat for long moments, looking inward. "I think I must have." She looked her lover in the eyes. "I don't think I could have let you into my heart if I hadn't. All those years, I blamed Glyn for betraying me, but it was Brynn who hurt me the most." "Because you loved her." "Yes, I loved her, and she left me." "Ryan, I promise, I will never do the same." "Don't make promises you can't keep, beloved. Only promise me this: if this existence ever becomes too much, talk to me first. Please?" "I promise." Carissa put her arm around Ryan's and buried her face against her lover's neck. She held very tight to Ryan, and for once, Ryan's caresses were not sensual. After a time, Ryan sighed and kissed Carissa. "Shall I tell you about Lady Carolyn tonight?" "Is she the next portrait on the mantel?" "Yes. Let's go into my study." Ryan rose and offered Carissa her arm. They walked through the house together, and for the first time, Carissa felt it was her home as much as it was Ryan's. She smiled at Greger, and the butler bowed his head slightly, but the smile he returned was warm with affection. The fire was already lit in the study, and the flames seemed to welcome Carissa. Even in the heat of summer, Ryan always had a fire here. It was as if in this one place in her life, she needed light. Carissa reached for the portrait and turned to Ryan to give it to her. There were two glasses and the waiting bottle of wine. It felt soothing to complete the ritual: to pour the wine and hand a glass to Ryan. They would sip it together as they talked into the night. Carissa moved to sit at Ryan's feet, but her lover pulled her into her lap instead. Ryan opened the portrait and showed it to Carissa. "She had an interesting face." Ryan laughed. "Unlike the rest of your ancestors, she was not pretty. But no portrait could ever do her justice. She was always in motion. Life seemed to sparkle from her, and I don't just mean to vampire senses. In any crowd of people, she would always be the center of attention. Her hands would flutter when she spoke, and it was as if she was weaving a spell, keeping everyone's interest even if she was speaking of something as mundane as buying linen." "You admired her." "Oh yes. If circumstances had been different, I would have stolen her away from her fool of a husband, but I had accepted a task, and I couldn't afford to cause what might have turned into an international incident." "You have me intrigued, my lord." Ryan smiled. "I suppose I should go back a few years so you can understand how I became involved. I usually don't get involved in human politics, but by the reign of James V, politics seemed to have taken a notice of me. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] |
Podobne
|